Since the end of a six year long friendship and after much thought and discussion I have come to the realization that the majority of us are far to negative. Now with out going into to much detail I want you to know how and why "I" think things went so wrong.
I had my feelings hurt by this friend a few different times but all right in a row. So I decided to write a letter to this friend, read it to my husband who then said "i really don't think you should send it" but what did i do....i sent it anyway. My way of rationalizing it was that I needed her to know how "I" was feeling, and that hopefully she could and would tell me why "I" shouldn't feel that way. That what "I" was seeing and then feeling was not how things really were.
This is not what i got. What i got was the "silent treatment" and a now former friend who is now more self-conscious around others then she was before, alienating most everyone from her.
Daddy and I have talked about how things have gone and I've only heard "I told you so" a couple of times. I've sat and tried to decide if I had it to do over again...what would i do differently. I think the most profound thing Daddy said was "is what you did SELFLESS or SELFISH".... It was obviously selfish. I was more worried about "ME" and the "NEGATIVE" things i was seeing and feeling. That was the reason for the failed relationship.
I was reminded today of story and although it's between a husband and wife i think it can most definitely be applied to any relationship.
As a young wife, I learned that the taste of marriage could be sweeter if I didn’t focus on my husband’s faults.
My husband and I had been married about two years—just long enough for me to realize that he was a normal man rather than a knight on a white charger—when I read a magazine article recommending that married couples schedule regular talks to discuss, truthfully and candidly, the habits or mannerisms they find annoying in each other. The theory was that if the partners knew of such annoyances, they could correct them before resentful feelings developed.
It made sense to me. I talked with my husband about the idea. After some hesitation, he agreed to give it a try.
As I recall, we were to name five things we found annoying, and I started off. After more than fifty years, I remember only my first complaint: grapefruit. I told him that I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? Although I have forgotten them, I’m sure the rest of my complaints were similar.
After I finished, it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me. Though it has been more than half a century, I still carry a mental image of my husband’s handsome young face as he gathered his brows together in a thoughtful, puzzled frown and then looked at me with his large blue-gray eyes and said, “Well, to tell the truth, I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.”
Gasp.
I quickly turned my back, because I didn’t know how to explain the tears that had filled my eyes and were running down my face. I had found fault with him over such trivial things as the way he ate grapefruit, while he hadn’t even noticed any of my peculiar and no doubt annoying ways.
I wish I could say that this experience completely cured me of fault finding. It didn’t. But it did make me aware early in my marriage that husbands and wives need to keep in perspective, and usually ignore, the small differences in their habits and personalities. Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefruit Syndrome.
My husband and I had been married about two years—just long enough for me to realize that he was a normal man rather than a knight on a white charger—when I read a magazine article recommending that married couples schedule regular talks to discuss, truthfully and candidly, the habits or mannerisms they find annoying in each other. The theory was that if the partners knew of such annoyances, they could correct them before resentful feelings developed.
It made sense to me. I talked with my husband about the idea. After some hesitation, he agreed to give it a try.
As I recall, we were to name five things we found annoying, and I started off. After more than fifty years, I remember only my first complaint: grapefruit. I told him that I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? Although I have forgotten them, I’m sure the rest of my complaints were similar.
After I finished, it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me. Though it has been more than half a century, I still carry a mental image of my husband’s handsome young face as he gathered his brows together in a thoughtful, puzzled frown and then looked at me with his large blue-gray eyes and said, “Well, to tell the truth, I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.”
Gasp.
I quickly turned my back, because I didn’t know how to explain the tears that had filled my eyes and were running down my face. I had found fault with him over such trivial things as the way he ate grapefruit, while he hadn’t even noticed any of my peculiar and no doubt annoying ways.
I wish I could say that this experience completely cured me of fault finding. It didn’t. But it did make me aware early in my marriage that husbands and wives need to keep in perspective, and usually ignore, the small differences in their habits and personalities. Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefruit Syndrome.
Lola B. Walters, “The Grapefruit Syndrome,” Ensign, Apr 1993, 13
I have learned that what "I" feel is never more important then how "I" make other people feel. That always looking for the positive will keep me from seeing the bad. If we all lived this way day in day out how much better the world would be. To my former friend I will forever be sorry and am very grateful for the wonderful husband I have.
Okay, I am so not proud of how this beautiful picture came about, ME sprawled out on the ground in my dress with only like hundreds of people standing around but it was really, really the only way to get this picture.
Me and Mr.Big wait where'd my neck go......has anyone seen it? 
Look at these two cute girls!! They both decided that this was the temple they were going to be princesses in and get married in their beautiful purple marrying dresses. We ventured next to the reception tent where it was beautifully accented with items from 
